That’s what the sign in the window said. I wanted to get my ears pierced. But I never had the time. So I went inside, and approached the woman behind the counter. She had 24 visible piercings. I know because I counted them. I told her I wanted my ears pierced. She said that was not a problem, but they couldn’t see me for at least an hour, because the technician was on his lunch break, but I could leave them if I wanted, have them pierced overnight, and pick them up in the morning, which was fine with me, as I had a pressing engagement. So I gave her my ears and she gave me a ticket for them. She told me to be sure not to lose my ticket. Then she told me again. She said, “Be sure not to lose your ticket.” Twice. That’s when I first thought maybe some funny business was going on. But one has thoughts like this frequently, and they never come to anything, so one ends up thinking it’s just another unreasonable fear one has for no reason. Only of course this time, that was not the case. Because when I got home, my ticket was gone. I searched everywhere. Relentlessly. It was not to be found. As if it were made of disintegrating paper. So naturally when I went back the next day and the pierced woman asked for my ticket, she did not seem surprised at all when I could not produce it. Ho hum. Business as usual. I catapulted from suspicious to furious, which explains why I then catapulted over the counter to retrieve my ears. A mountain of hard pierced flesh backhanded me. Can you imagine? I weigh a hundred pounds. On a heavy day. I fell to the floor, and I could taste blood in my mouth. I had not tasted blood since I was fourteen and tasted my menstruation. It tasted very rich and full of iron. I crawled back around the counter, got up, and screamed at the pierced people that they would be hearing from my lawyer. Now I have to get a lawyer. One feels so gutted at times like this. And I’ve discovered, much to my dismay, that a person with no ears faces discrimination in the work place, in romantic situations, and even when dining. But more importantly, what are the pierced people doing with all those ears?